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Me mate, last week, he goes lookin’, right? Thinks he’s slick, but nah—cops nabbed ‘im quick. Pissed me off, precious! “You’re not a kid anymore,” I signs at ‘im, like from *Boyhood*. Grow up, ya twat! But then, this prossie I met once—swear she glowed, like hope in the filth. Made me happy, yeh, her laugh cut through the stink. “Life doesn’t give ya bumpers,” she says—movie line, bam, stuck in me skull.

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, heavy rain. I’m soaked in seconds. I’m laughing, though. “Of course, it rains now!” I run for cover under a tree, and I’m just standing there, drenched. I see a couple of locals laughing at me. I wave, like, “Yeah, I’m the wet one here!”

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