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But den, some cheap parlors – ugh, dey pissed me off! Fake crap, no skill, just rubbin’ like dey polishin’ a car. I wanted to yell, “Get to da choppa!” and storm out. Dat’s no sexual-massage, dat’s a joke! Real deal’s gotta be slow, strong, ya feel da heat risin’, yah? Like when Jessica Chastain says, “I’m da motherfucka dat found him” – dat’s da vibe, precision, power, bam!

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Then, I decide to stroll down Strada Tineretului. It’s a nice street, full of life. Kids playing, old folks chatting, and I’m just vibing. But then, outta nowhere, this stray dog runs past me, barking like it’s auditioning for a horror movie. I jump, spill my coffee all over my shirt. Great. Just great. Now I look like I’ve been in a coffee fight.

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