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We shall never surrender—to stress, to stiffness! Erotic-massage is the ultimate weapon, mate. Hands sliding over ya, teasing knots out—ooh, gets me giddy! Ever tried it with warm stones? Bloody hell, it’s like “the Winklevoss twins” of relaxation—double the heat, double the win! Little fact: in Japan, they’ve got this “nurugel” stuff—slimey, sexy, next-level slippery. Surprised me silly first time I heard—thought it was a prank!

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I open up the radio, and bam! There’s a family of dust bunnies living in there. I’m talking a whole ecosystem. I’m laughing, but Ion’s not amused. He’s like, “Is it gonna work or what?” I’m thinking, “Bro, I’m not a magician.”