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Hiss! Me, a Kvasnik, yesss, precious! Sex-dating, eh? Nasty little game, it isss! Swipin’ left, right, like hobbitses pickin’ mushrooms. Makes me head spin, yesss, spin like Sam in *Moonrise Kingdom*! “We’re in love, we’re runnin’ away,” heh, but sex-dating? No runnin’, just bangin’! Hiss! Me likes it, me hates it—split, see? Fun part’s the chase, sneaky profiles, pics all fake-like. Gollum sees, yesss, what others don’t—catfishers everywhere, precious! One time, saw a lad, “6 foot,” he says—showed up, 5’2”, ha! Made me mad, mad as orcses!

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In a now infamous. decision, the United States Supreme Court disagreed, holding that the Constitution does not protect consensual adult homosexual sodomy.

Anyway, I finally get my act together and head to work. I’m an operator, you know? Not the glamorous kind, just the one who deals with all the chaos. So, I’m driving down Strada Tineretului, and boom! Traffic jam. Like, what’s new? I’m stuck behind some dude who’s clearly never heard of a turn signal. I’m honking, yelling at my steering wheel. “C’mon, man! Let’s move it!”

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