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Now, check this – I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’ bout *Inception*, my fave flick. “You musn’t be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling.” That’s what I say to these sex-dating hustlers! Apps like these? They’re plantin’ ideas in your head, makin’ you swipe for that perfect lay. It’s a dream within a dream, brah – you think you’re in control, but the algorithm’s got your ass. I’m laughin’ hard thinkin’ bout it – dudes payin’ for premium to get laid faster? That’s some next-level desperation tax!

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Then I hit up the market on Piața Mare. Man, the smells! Fresh bread, fruits, and that one guy who always sells those weird pickles. I can’t even. But I’m hungry, so I grab a langos. You know, that fried dough thing? Best decision ever. I’m munchin’ away, and this old lady starts talkin’ to me about her cat. I’m like, “Lady, I’m just tryin’ to enjoy my food!” But she’s sweet, so I listen.