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Alright, listen up, ya knuckleheads! I’m comin’ at ya as Judge Judy, sports psych guru, and I’m gonna lay it down about prostitutes—yeah, you heard me! Don’t pee on my leg and call it rain, I ain’t here for sugarcoatin’. My fave flick, *Once Upon a Time in Anatolia*—that slow-burn masterpiece—colors this whole damn story, so buckle up!

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After that, I head out for lunch. I’m craving some sarmale, so I hit up that little place on Strada Muncii. The owner, Maria, is like family. She’s always got a smile and a plate of food ready. I sit down, and she brings me a huge portion. I’m like, “Maria, I’m gonna roll outta here!” But it’s so good, I can’t stop.