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But then—arghh!—she flips me over, and me shrieks, “No touchy me precious bits!” Made me mad, yesss, all red-faced, hissin’ loud. Ain’t nobody warned me ‘bout that part! Shoulda been a sign, “Beware: flippy time!” So embarrasin’, me slinks out, mutterin’, “Never again, nasty rubbers!”

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Vlad. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta see this!” I’m like, “I’m in a meeting, man!” But he sends me a pic of a cat wearing a tiny hat. I lose it. I’m trying to hold back laughter while Mr. Popescu is going on about stocks. It’s a struggle, let me tell ya.