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About Ploiesti

What pisses me off? The liars. “I’m 6 foot!” Nah, mate, you’re 5’5” in boots. Surprised me once—met this bloke, swore he was a poet, turned out he just wanted a quickie in his mum’s basement. Laughed my arse off, then blocked him. Happy bit? When you find a rare gem who’s decent in bed *and* ain’t a total twat. Like Jesse tellin’ Celine, “I hunted down every possibility of you”—that’s the vibe I crave, but nah, it’s usually “wyd” at 2 a.m.

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I finally found my way to the Great Mahmoud Mosque. It’s stunning, man! The architecture is on point. I was just standing there, soaking it all in, when this random guy starts chatting me up. He’s like, “You speak English?” I’m like, “Yeah, obviously!” And then he starts telling me about his life. I mean, I didn’t sign up for a therapy session, but hey, I’m a linguist, so I listened.

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