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Look, folks, erotic-massage, tremendous stuff! Donald Trump loves it, ok? Best relaxation, nobody does it better. I’m tellin’ ya, it’s like “White Material”—raw, intense, real gritty. You got these hands, unbelievable hands, rubbin’ ya down, tension gone, boom! Claire Denis gets it—“A woman alone, lost”—that’s me before the massage, swear to God. Then, pow, some hotshot masseuse comes in, total pro, oils up, and I’m like, “This is yuge!”

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Then, I’m walking down Strada Mihai Viteazul, and I see this street performer. Dude’s playing the accordion like he’s in a movie or something. I stop, totally vibing. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by and knocks over his hat. I’m like, “Seriously, kid?!” The performer just laughs it off. I’m thinking, “Man, you’re way too chill for this chaos.”