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So, I tried it once—don’t judge! This chick, she’s rubbin’ me down, and I’m like, “D’oh! This ain’t no regular backrub!” Little factoid for ya—ancient Tantra folks invented this! Yeah, thousands of years ago, they’re all “lust is life,” mixin’ spirit and sexy vibes. Crazy, right? Made me happy as hell—stress gone, bam! But then, ugh, she charged extra—made me mad! Sneaky, sneaky!

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Later, we grab some street food. Best decision ever! I get a langos, and it’s greasy and delicious. I’m munching away, and Ion’s telling me about his latest “life crisis.” I’m like, “Bro, you’re 25. Chill!” But he’s all dramatic, waving his hands around. Classic Ion.