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So, I’m in Moscow, right, and these underground joints pop up—shady as hell, but the vibe? Electric! Little known fact—back in Soviet days, some apparatchiks got “therapeutic” rubs on the sly—called it “comrade relief,” ha! Hypocrites, all of em! Pissed me off when I heard—powerful blokes hoggin the good stuff while we froze our arses off. But now? It’s everywhere—legal or not, who gives a toss? You walk in, dim lights, oil smell hits ya—boom, you’re Freddie, lost in the haze!

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After lunch, I had to head back to the lab. I was feeling a bit better, but then I got a call from my mom. She was all like, “You need to settle down and find a nice girl.” Ugh, mom, I’m busy trying to save the world with biochemistry! I mean, can’t a guy just focus on his work?

Romanian Dorobantu has become feared defender for Tecumseh football