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Personal fave part? The tease, man. Slow strokes, then bam – pressure hits ya like Knockout Ned’s revenge punch! Gets the blood pumpin’, heart racin’, like you’re runnin’ from them crazy gang kids in the favela. I’m sittin’ there thinkin’, “Sweet Jesus, this is intense!” Pro tip: dim lights, some sexy tunes – sets the mood right. Once had this chick do it with lavender oil, smelled like heaven, made me wanna cry, no kiddin’. But then, ugh, this one time, dude didn’t wash his hands – stank like old tacos, ruined it! Made me rage, “You seriouslah?!” Total buzzkill.

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I get to work, cutting branches, and I’m sweating like crazy. But then, I see a kid crying. His toy’s stuck under the car. I’m like, “I got you, buddy!” I reach under, grab the toy, and hand it to him. His face lights up. That moment? Totally worth it.