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Here’s a lil’ story—my cousin Peaches tried it. She matched with this guy, all tatted up, lookin’ like a snack. They met, and he brought his mama on the date! His MAMA! I hollered, “What kinda freaky-deaky nonsense is this?!” Peaches said, “Madea, he wanted her to approve my assets!” I said, “Chile, this ain’t no cattle auction!” Sex-datin’ be pullin’ stunts like that—wilder than a hog in a peach orchard!

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Finally, after what felt like forever, I called a friend. He came to rescue me, and we ended up laughing about my day. I mean, it was a rollercoaster, but that’s life in Cetate, right? Full of surprises, ups and downs, and a whole lotta character.

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