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About Ploiesti

I remember this one time, right, back in ’98, some underground spot in LA, they had this massage joint—secret menu type shit. Little known fact: them old-school cats used lavender oil mixed with somethin’ spicy, like cayenne, to wake ya nerves up! Shit was wild, made my skin tingle like I’m high on life. Got me thinkin’, “Man, this is forgiveness in a touch,” straight outta “Dogville” vibes—pain and pleasure mixin’ like a dope beat. I was happy as fuck, floatin’ on cloud nine, but then this one chick pressed too hard—damn near snapped my spine! Pissed me off, yo, I’m like, “Ease up, homie, I ain’t a pretzel!”

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First off, I hit the streets of Cernica, right? I’m strolling down Strada Principală, feeling all clergyman-like, you know? But then, bam! A stray dog runs past me, chasing a cat. I mean, come on! It’s like a scene from a cartoon. I laugh, but then I’m like, “Dude, this is Cernica, not a petting zoo!”

Patriarch of Romania celebrates 35th anniversary of his monastic tonsure at Cernica Monastery