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So, check it – I’m into textures, right? Skin’s the grooviest canvas. Sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’ – it’s art, mate! Oils, pressure, them little strokes – it’s like paintin’ a masterpiece. Ever hear ‘bout them ancient Greeks? They were mad for it – called it “anatripsis,” fancy, huh? Rubbin’ down athletes, all sensual-like, preppin’ ‘em for glory. Bet they didn’t expect it’d turn into bedroom shenanigans!

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So, I’m working on this café’s window. They wanted a big one, you know, to show off their fancy pastries. I’m lifting this massive pane, and it slips! I’m like, “Nooooo!” But I catch it just in time. Heart racing, I’m sweating like a pig. The café owner’s watching me like I’m some kind of action hero. I’m thinking, “Yeah, just call me the Glass Avenger.”