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Once, my pal Fozzie—bear, big paws—tried givin’ one. Disaster! “Wocka wocka!” he yells, slippin’ on oil—hilarious, but ouch! Sexual-massage needs skill, man. Not just kneadin’ dough! It’s sensual, slow—like Pocahontas dancin’ in the wind, “All must change!”—yep, mood shifts fast. Surprised me how it’s kinda artsy, not just naughty.

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First off, I decide to head into town. I’m thinking, “Hey, let’s grab some fresh bread from the market on Strada Principală.” You know, the one that’s always packed with people? So I’m strutting down the street, feeling all proud with my shepherd’s stick, and boom! I trip over a rock. Classic me, right? I’m like, “Really? A rock? In the middle of the street?”

Figure 1. The most important Middle Paleolithic discoveries from...