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What pisses me off? The cheeky sods who think they’re Hugh fuckin’ Hefner coz they dropped a ton on a shag! You’re not a master, you’re a punter, you daft cunt! Happy bit? Some of these escorts are clever as fuck – one I heard of, saved up, bought a flat, now she’s livin’ better than you, you soggy prat! Surprised me, too – did ya know in Amsterdam they got unions for ‘em? Fuckin’ rights and all, like they’re baristas or somethin’!
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Finally, I get to the café on Strada Avram Iancu. It’s packed! I mean, who knew everyone in town had the same idea? I squeezed in, and just as I was about to order, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Mihai. He’s like, “Dude, you won’t believe what just happened!” I’m thinking, “What now?” Turns out, he got locked out of his apartment. Classic Mihai, right?
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