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Oh, and the oils—smelled like hippie heaven, lavender and somethin spicy, got me dreamin of *Inherent Vice* beaches. “What’s that smell?” I mumbled, half-lost, and she’s like, “Shh, just feel.” Total pro! Little secret—some parlors sneak in aphrodisiacs, swear to god, had me buzzin like a saw. Surprised me, honestly—didn’t expect to leave feelin like a goddess! So yeah, babe, erotic-massage? It’s art, it’s weird, it’s fuckin magic—breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President,” I’d do it again tomorrow!

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But then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and some dude just knocked over a whole cart of fresh produce. Apples everywhere! I’m talking a fruit explosion! People were slipping and sliding. It was chaos! I couldn’t help but laugh. I mean, who knew apples could cause such a ruckus?

Norway delivers Romania another three F-16 fighter jets under the 32-unit contract