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Now, I reckon it’s like *Fish Tank* – raw, real, bit grubby. Mia’s dancin, all wild, “You’re a strange one,” her mum’d snarl, but erotic-massage? It’s strange too, ain’t it? Not your bog-standard spa day – nah, this is sneaky, under-the-radar stuff. Did ya know, right, in Japan they’ve got this *nuru* malarkey? Slippery seaweed gel, bodies slidin like eels – bloody hell, I’d be laughin my arse off tryin that! Nearly fell off me chair readin bout it, swear down.

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Fast forward to the park, and it’s packed! Kids running everywhere, people picnicking, and I’m just trying to find my friend. I finally spot him by the fountain, looking all chill. We start talking about life, you know, the usual. But then, this random guy walks by and spills his drink all over my shoes. I’m like, “Dude, seriously?” He just shrugs and keeps walking. Rude!

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