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Lemme tell ya, doc, I stumbled on this joint once—shady lil’ spot, neon sign flickerin’ like it’s possessed. Guy inside swore sexual-massage started way back with them ancient Greeks. Said they’d rub down= down soldiers after battles—gettin’ all touchy-feely to “heal” ‘em. True? Who knows! Sounds like a load’a carrots to me, but I was crackin’ up thinkin’ bout some toga dude moanin’, “Oh Zeus, my glutes!” Made me laugh so hard I nearly choked on my carrot stick.

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Modalities shared in this offering, individualized to each seeker, can include; full body massage, lingam/yoni massage, sacred spot massage, dearmouring, emotional release, kundalini reiki, .

So, I’m back at the door, and this girl comes up. She’s got this wild hair, like she just got electrocuted. She’s all giggly, and I’m thinkin’, “Great, another one.” But then she pulls out a bottle of water and says, “I’m just here to hydrate!” I’m like, “Girl, you’re in a club, not a spa!” But hey, I let her in. Hydration is key, right?

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