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And the girls—God bless em, really—but I’d be too neurotic to even talk. “Hi, uh, so, what’s your return policy?” I’d ask that, swear to God, cause what if it’s awkward? What if she’s judgin me? I’d judge me! Like, “Look at this schmuck, payin for it.” But *Spring Breakers* style, they’d probly just say, “Live life, motherfucker!” and I’d be like, “Okay, fair, but still—gross!” I’d tip extra just to not feel like a creep. Pretty, pretty good chance I’d bolt outta there anyway.

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Around midnight, things get wild. Strada Muncii is packed, and the music’s bumpin’. I’m tryin’ to keep an eye on everything, but my buddy, the bartender, keeps throwin’ me shots. I’m like, “Dude, I’m workin’!” But he’s relentless. So, I take one. Just one. Okay, maybe two.

Patriarch Daniel blesses St Elijah social centre in Calimanesti after renovation works