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I got mad once, tho—some shady spa tried chargin me triple for a “happy ending” I didn’t even ask for! I was like, “Uh-uh, boo, I ain’t that kinda queen!” But when it’s good? Oh, I’m HAPPY—floatin like Jim Carrey erasin his ex’s face. Last time, this masseuse—swear she was a wizard—hit spots I didn’t know I had! Made me holler, “Blessed are the forgetful!”—straight outta the movie, ‘cause I forgot all my stress, poof, gone!

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After that, I decide to hit up the Buzău River. I mean, it’s a must-see, right? I walk along the promenade, and it’s beautiful. The water’s glistening, and I’m just vibing. But then, I see this group of people having a picnic. They’re blasting music, and it’s like a mini party. I’m thinking, “Why didn’t I bring snacks?”