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I seen it, man—escorts got game! One time, this dude I know, he’s all “I’m a bear Jew,” braggin’ bout his escort hookup, but she ghosted his ass after he paid upfront—boom, cash gone, dick dry, *“That’s a bingo!”* I laughed so hard I cried, fam! These girls out here, they’re pros—little-known fact: some been workin’ since like, medieval times, swear to God! Kings used to call ‘em “courtesans,” now it’s just “yo, Venmo me, bro.” History’s freaky, right?

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Later, I take a break outside on Strada Smârdan. The air smells like grilled meat from a nearby food truck. I’m starvin’. I grab a kebab, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. I’m munchin’ away, and this old lady walks by. She looks at me, shakes her head, and says, “You’re too young to be so grumpy.” I’m like, “Lady, you have no idea.”

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