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Ooh, gets me mad, the fakes! But—sly grin—sometimes I swipe too, late night, lonely-like. “Where’s the baby?” I mutter, like Clive Owen, coz sex-dating’s barren—no soul, just flesh. Exaggeratin’? Maybe! Once matched a gal who sent me a vid of her singin’ naked—wild! Kept it professional, tho—insurance man’s gotta eat, not creep. Still, bloody hilarious!

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Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being an auctioneer in Bucecea is like riding a rollercoaster blindfolded. So, I wake up, right? Sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m thinkin’, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Ha! Spoiler alert: it was NOT chill.