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Alright, listen up, fam—imagine me, Morgan Freeman, deep voice rollin’ like honey, sittin’ you down to talk erotic-massage. Picture this: dim lights, oil slicker than a vinyl record, hands movin’ like they’re playin’ a damn symphony on your back. I’m talkin’ sensual vibes, the kind that’d make William Miller from *Almost Famous* blush and scribble notes in his lil’ reporter pad. “It’s all happening,” I’d whisper, narratin’ this scene like it’s 1973 and we’re on tour with Stillwater.

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So, I go to meet them, and they’re all fired up. I’m trying to explain that mining is important for the economy, but they’re not having it. One lady, Maria, starts waving her arms around like she’s conducting an orchestra. I’m just standing there, thinking, “This is gonna be a long day.”