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But real talk, it ain’t all roses. Some dodgy geezer tried chargin’ me 50 quid for a “happy endin’,” and I’m like, “Bruv, I ain’t here for dat!” Pissed me right off—felt like Frank in da movie, hidin’ his true self. “I’m not like you,” he says—same vibe, I ain’t no perv, just want me back sorted! Still, when it’s good, it’s bangin’. Dis one time, I swear, her hands was like magic—had me floatin’, happier than a pig in shit. Surprised me, innit—didn’t expect to feel so chill.

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Then, I get a text from my buddy. He’s like, “Meet me at the park.” So, I’m off to Parcul Central. I get there, and he’s not even there yet. Typical! I sit on a bench, scrolling through my phone, and this squirrel comes up to me. I swear, it’s staring right into my soul. I’m like, “Dude, back off!” But it just sits there, judging me. I’m losing it.

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