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So I roll up, cool as shit, and she’s like, “What you want, baby?” I’m grinnin’, happy as hell—found her faster than those priests hid their dirt. “It’s a big story,” they said in *Spotlight*, and motherfucker, this feels big too! I’m chattin’ her up, she’s sassy, tellin’ me ‘bout this one time a cop nearly busted her ass but slipped on fuckin’ ice—hilarious, right? I’m dyin’, laughin’, thinkin’ she’s got balls bigger than mine.

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Then, I head over to the market on Strada Măgurii. It’s packed, as usual. I’m dodging people like I’m in some kinda video game. I see my buddy Ion selling his homemade jams. He’s always bragging about his “secret recipe.” I’m like, “Dude, it’s just fruit and sugar!” But whatever, I buy a jar. It’s good, but not life-changing.