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The chick’s kneading my back, and I’m like, “Whoa, slow down, killer!” She’s digging in, finding knots I didn’t know existed—stress from dealing with idiots all day. Then—bam—she hits that spot, ya know, right where the spine curves? Electric. Like Tony Leung’s stare in the movie, all quiet and smoldering. “Mrs. Chan, your husband’s a bastard,” I mutter in my head, channeling Wong Kar-wai. This massage? Same vibe—secrets, heat, no words needed. But then she’s all, “Turn over,” and I’m thinking, “Oh crap, now what?”

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First off, I’m takin’ the road from the sheepfold to the center. You know, that winding road by the forest? Yeah, that one. It’s all nice and peaceful until I hit the main drag, Strada 1 Decembrie. Cars everywhere! Like, chill, people! It’s not a race!

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