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Downside? Some places, sketchy as hell—dude, I walked into one, smelled like feet and regret. Fuck that noise. But the good ones? Gabagool, ova here, they gotcha feelin’ like Tony fuckin’ Soprano runnin’ the Bada Bing—king of the world, baby! Best part, they say it’s “therapeutic”—yeah, therapeutic my ass, it’s a party, “Spring break, forever!”—you leave glowin’, swear to Christ. Try it, but don’t get ripped off, capisce?

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Then, outta nowhere, my buddy Ion shows up. He’s always got some wild stories. Today, he’s like, “You won’t believe what happened on Strada Călărași!” Apparently, some guy tried to sell him a goat. A goat! In the middle of the street! I mean, who does that? But Ion, being Ion, almost bought it. I laughed so hard, I almost spilled my coffee.