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Here’s a nugget: in Japan, they’ve got “soaplands”—erotic-massage with a twist, all legal-like. Slippery as hell, costs a bomb, but you’re grinning ear to ear. Me, I’m all about value—spend smart, feel richer. “Are we pretending?” I quip, echoing *Certified Copy*, when the lass gets flirty. Keeps it fun, y’know? Downside? Mate, if M finds out, I’m toast—license to kill revoked over a backrub. Worth it? Abso-bloody-lutely. So, next time you’re knackered, skip the martini—get kneaded instead. Shaken, not stirred, naturally.

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I keep walking, trying to shake it off. I hit up Strada Tineretului next. There’s this park, right? It’s got these swings that look like they’ve seen better days. I sit down, and it creaks like it’s about to give up on life. But whatever, I’m swinging, feeling like a kid again. Then I see this group of kids playing football. They’re all hyped, shouting, laughing. I’m like, “Man, I miss those days.”

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