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What pisses me off? The hypocrites judgin em. Like, dude, you’re oglin porn but clutchin pearls at this? Spare me. Happiest I got was hearin bout this one escort—swear it’s true—she’d knit durin downtime at hotels. Knit! Granny vibes in fishnets—cracked me up. Surprised? Oh, totally, when I learned some escorts bank six figures. Six! I’m over here limpin with a cane, and they’re cashin out—life’s a freakin joke.

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I tell the celeb to chill for a sec. I walk over, and I’m like, “Yo, what’s your deal?” He just stares at me, no words. I’m thinking, “Great, another weirdo.” But then he bolts! I chase him down Strada Măgurii. I’m not a track star, but adrenaline’s pumping.