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So, sex-dating—hookin’ up fast, no strings, pure spongey fun! I’m HYPED talkin’ bout this—makes me wanna flip me spatula! Apps like Tinder, Bumble, freaky lil’ Plenty o’ Fish—bam, instant matches! Met this one lass, profile said “just fun,” next thing, we’re tradin’ pics faster than Plankton steals a Krabby Patty recipe! Little known fact—dudes lie bout height, lasses bout age—stats say 60% fib, sneaky barnacles!

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Finally, I catch him near the park. Turns out, he was just a fan who got too excited. I’m like, “Dude, chill! You scared the crap outta me!” He’s apologizing like crazy. I can’t help but laugh. It’s kinda funny, but also, what a day, right?