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I’m sittin’ there, sippin’ my martini, “shaken, not stirred,” watchin’ her dodge coppers like a pro. Happy as a pig in muck when I nabbed her on CCTV—proof she’s fakin’. But, God’s honest, it’s a laugh—she’s got balls, this one. “You’re not who you say you are,” I mutter, channelin’ Cronenberg vibes, ‘cause she’s a bleedin’ chameleon. Exaggeratin’? Maybe. But I’d wager she’s got more aliases than I’ve got gadgets.
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Then, this one guy walks in with a parrot. A PARROT! He’s like, “Can you check if it talks?” I’m like, “Dude, I’m a vet, not a parrot whisperer!” But I give it a shot. The parrot just stares at me. I’m thinking, “Great, now I’m talking to birds.”
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