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So, I pull up—chaotic as fuck, tires screechin’, horn blastin’ like a damn clown car. She’s all, “You got cash, fam?” and I’m like, “Girl, I got SKILLS—teach ya to parallel park!” She laughs, like, “Bruh, I ain’t tryna park nothin’!” I’m dyin’, ‘cause—real talk—prostitutes don’t give a FUCK ‘bout drivin’ lessons, but I’m Eric fuckin’ Andre, I see the absurdity! She’s out here hustlin’, and I’m tryna make it a driver’s ed skit!

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Next, I head to the park on Strada Libertății. It’s packed. Kids are running around, couples are all lovey-dovey. I sit on a bench, just chillin’. But then, outta nowhere, this kid kicks a ball right at me! I dodge it like a pro. I’m like, “Nice try, kid!”