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I tried askin’ Stan—dumbass didn’t know shit. Kyle? That Jew’s too busy countin’ pennies! So I’m out here, sweatin’, thinkin’, “This is bullshit!” Then—BOOM—found this shady spot downtown. Some chick’s leanin’ on a wall, smokin’. I’m like, “Hell yeah, jackpot!” She’s givin’ me the eye, and I’m all, “Respect my authoritah, lady!” She laughs—pisses me off—but I’m happy too, ‘cause she’s hot! Like, hotter than WALL-E’s trash piles, y’know?
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Then, outta nowhere, this dude walks in. He’s got a parrot on his shoulder. No joke! The parrot starts squawkin’ about odds and bets. I’m like, “Is this real life?” The crowd goes wild. I can’t even focus on the bets anymore. I’m just watchin’ this guy and his parrot.
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