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About Constanta

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, hate everything, ‘cept maybe a good steak. Sexual-massage? Pfft, overrated nonsense. Buncha sweaty hands rubbin’ ya down, callin’ it “therapy.” I’d rather wrestle a bear naked than pay some hippy to knead my back with lavender crap. But fine, I’ll talk about it—grudinly.

How to Give a Sensual Massage That’s Actually Hot and Nice

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So, I’m walking down Strada Mihai Viteazul, and I see this street performer. Dude’s playing the accordion like he’s in a movie or something. I stop for a sec, and it’s actually kinda nice. I toss him a couple of lei. He gives me this huge grin, and I’m like, “Okay, Berzunti, you’re not all bad.”