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About Galati

Dunno why it’s so hush-hush. Romans had whole bathhouses for this—public, shameless, steamy as hell. Nowadays? Everyone’s all prudish, whispering “massage” like it’s a sin. Bollocks to that. I’d shove it in their faces, make ‘em blush. Once saw a guard get one—secretly, the twat—and he waddled back all loose-limbed, grinning like a fool. Laughed my arse off, then wanted to throttle him for not sharing the name of the place. Selfish git.

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So, I’m trying to keep it together. I mean, we’re on Strada Calea București, and it’s not like I can just close up shop. I grab my phone, and I’m like, “Let’s see if I can get some light.” I’m scrolling through my contacts, and guess who I see? My buddy, Alex. He’s always down for a laugh. I text him, “Dude, bring a flashlight!”

‘The Assembled Parties,’ at the Samuel J. Friedman Theater