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But ugh, da fakes! Dis one dude – ya, dude! – catfished me, thinkin’ I’m some lonely babushka. Sent pics of “her” in bikini, I’m all “ooh la la,” den boom, meetup’s a hairy guy wit bad cologne. Pissed me off! Wasted me night! “Where you gonna go?” I yell, like Llewyn screamin’ at da wind. Sex-dating’s a gamble, da?

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After that, I strolled down Strada Tineretului. The sun was shining, birds were chirping, and I was feelin’ good. But then, outta nowhere, I see this kid with a kite. A freakin’ kite! In the middle of the street! I’m like, “Dude, you do realize this is not a park, right?” But he just laughed and let it fly. I mean, who am I to crush a kid’s dreams? So I just smiled and kept walkin’.