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Here’s a kicker: some folks say it cures headaches—tension ones, ya know? I dunno, sounds fishy, but I ain’t no doctor. Got me thinkin’—maybe I shoulda had a masseuse in the Oval Office, keep the stress down. Coulda avoided some o’ them Iraq misadventurisms! Oh, and the oils—slicker’n a politician’s promise—made me slip right off the table once. Busted my ass, laughed like a hyena—good times!

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But then, I see this group of kids playing soccer. They’re kicking the ball around, having a blast. I’m standing there, reminiscing about my childhood. I used to be a soccer star—well, in my head, at least. I shout, “Hey, can I join?” They look at me like I’m nuts. I mean, I’m in a button-up shirt and khakis. Not exactly soccer gear.

Over half of dairy products made in Olympus' EUR 55 mln Romanian factory go to export