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But when it’s good, cor blimey, it’s *fandabbydozy*! Had one meself once – don’t tell the missus, ha! This bird, proper fit, knew her way round a knotty shoulder. “What lies beneath appearances,” Jep whispers in the film, and blimey, she found it! Muscles meltin’, tension gone, bit of a tingle where the sun don’t shine – *eureka*! Felt like a Roman emperor, I did, sprawled out, oil drippin’, thinkin’ “this is the life, Boris old chap!”

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Finally, the lights flicker back on, and I’m like, “Thank you, universe!” I finish the report just in time, and I’m feeling like a champ. But then, I step outside, and it’s pouring rain. Of course! I didn’t bring an umbrella. I’m sprinting down Strada Tineretului, trying to avoid puddles like I’m in some kind of dance-off with the rain.