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Oi, you donkey! Escort, yeah? What a bloody mess that car is! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ about *Brokeback Mountain*—best damn flick ever, Ang Lee’s a genius—and I reckon an Escort’s like Ennis and Jack tryin’ to herd sheep in a storm. Total shite! Ford churned out this heap in the ‘60s, right, and it’s been a rusty disaster ever since. “I wish I knew how to quit you,” I’d say to that junker if it weren’t already quittin’ me every bloody mile!

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, like, monsoon-level rain. We’re sprinting for cover, laughing like idiots. I’m soaked, my guitar’s soaked, and I’m thinking, “This day is a mess!” But you know what? I’m still smiling.

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