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Alright, pal, listen up—erotic-massage, huh? Greed is good, baby, and I’m talkin’ that slick, oily kinda greed that gets ya all worked up. Picture this: dim lights, some chick or dude—your pick—runnin’ their hands all over ya, like they’re crackin’ a safe, but it’s your damn spine. I’m Gordon Gekko, see, and I say it’s the ultimate power play—cash for a rubdown that’d make Wall Street blush.

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Finally, I finish the knife. The lady’s all smiles, and I’m like, “Great, now I can breathe.” But then, my buddy Ion shows up. He’s got this wild story about how he got chased by a dog on Strada 1 Decembrie. I’m laughin’ so hard, I almost drop my sharpener. “Dude, you gotta be quicker than that!” I tell him.