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Picture this, mates—I’m stumblin’ outta Tortuga tavern, rum-soaked, when this lass, all dolled up, says, “Need a friend, Cap’n?” Cor, surprised me good! Smooth as a siren, she was. Reminded me o’ Gigolo Joe in me movie—“What’s your pleasure, eh?”—all charm, no fuss. Made me chuckle, it did! Escorts got that knack—readin’ ye like a treasure map. X marks the spot, aye!

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But then, just when I think it’s all good, I get a call from my boss. He’s like, “Where are you? We got a shipment comin’ in!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m in the middle of a life-changing moment here!” But he doesn’t care. So, I rush back to the docks, and of course, the shipment’s late. Typical, right?