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But—hold up—it pisses me off too. These escorts, they suck water like pigs! Greedy as hell, dryin’ out the ground. Farmers hate ‘em sometimes—say they’re selfish, stealin’ from crops. I’m like, “C’mon, escort, chill out!” Surprised me, honestly—thought they’d be chill, y’know, noble. Nope! Drama queens of the tree world—exaggeratin’ their thirst like No-Face gobblin’ up gold! “More! More!”—hilarious, but damn annoyin’.

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Then, I hop on my backup raft. Yeah, I got a backup. Don’t judge! It’s a little wobbly, but it’ll do. I push off, and man, the water’s cold! Like, “I just jumped into a freezer” cold. But hey, I’m a raftsman, I can handle it. I start paddlin’ down the river, and it’s actually kinda nice. The sun’s shinin’, birds are chirpin’, and I’m feelin’ good.