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So, last week—true story—I’m cruisin’ X, scrollin’ for intel, and some dude posts bout this escort ring, high-end, discreet. Got me thinkin’, “What am I doing with my life?”—straight outta Sofia Coppola’s script! I dig deeper, find a link—boom, profiles, pics, rates. One chick’s bio says “Tokyo vibes, no sleep”—I’m sold, man, sold! Greed kicks in—I want the best, nothin’ less. Text her, set it up, heart’s racin’—half expectin’ a cop sting, half hopin’ she’s Scarlett Johansson’s twin.

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So, I’m still reeling from my loss when I decide to stroll down to the park by the lake. It’s a chill spot, right? I plopped down on a bench, just vibin’ with the ducks. But then, outta nowhere, this kid starts screamin’ about a “monster” in the water. I’m thinkin’, “What the heck?” Turns out, it was just a big ol’ fish. But the way he was flailin’ his arms, you’d think it was Jaws or somethin’. I couldn’t help but laugh. Kids, man. They’re the best.

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