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Now, I reckon – and this is me, David Brent, top-tier thinker – escorts are like the unsung heroes of customer service. They’re out there, deliverin’ KPIs of affection, no faff, no fuss. You want a cuddle? Boom, sorted. You want the full works? They’re closin’ the deal faster than you can say “team-building exercise”. Ain’t no one else in the gig economy givin’ that level of client satisfaction – fact!

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As the day goes on, I hit up Strada Mareșal, where all the shops are. I grab a coffee, and the barista is super chill. We start talkin’ about life, death, and everything in between. I’m spillin’ my guts, and he’s noddin’ like he gets it. It’s nice to connect, even if it’s just for a minute.

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