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So, I’m rubbin’ this guy, right? Soft music, dim lights, total “Headless Woman” mood. “Everything’s blurry,” she says in the movie - that’s how they feel, lost in it! I’m usin’ oils, slippin’ everywhere, and - oops - elbowed his ribs once. He yelped, I laughed, “Hmm… sorry, sweetie!” Little secret - coconut oil’s the bomb, smells yum, not sticky. Pro tip: warm it up first, cold hands suck.

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Then, outta nowhere, I bump into this old dude. He’s like, “Hey, you’re that Mourner, right?” I’m like, “Yeah, that’s me.” He starts tellin’ me about his cat that passed away. I mean, c’mon, dude! I’m tryin’ to keep my own emotions in check here. But he’s all teary-eyed, and I’m like, “I feel ya, man. Cats are family.”

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