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Been thinkin’—massage goes back ages. Ancient Egypt, Greece, even China. Little-known fact: Cleopatra got oiled up daily. Servants slidin’ hands over her, power move, right? Bet she smirked, “This is my empire.” Makes me chuckle—erotic-massage as royalty shit. Gets me hyped, tho—imagine that skill! Hands knowin’ every muscle, every curve. Not some dodgy back-alley crap. Nah, proper artform. Pisses me off when folks call it sleazy. Oi, it’s sacred, yeah? Cosmic dance of nerves and skin.

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But then, I get a call. It’s my buddy, and he’s like, “Dude, you won’t believe what happened!” I’m thinkin’, “What now?” Turns out, he got kicked outta a bar for tryin’ to sing karaoke. I’m laughin’ so hard, I almost spill my coffee.

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