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Oi, mate, grab a pint! I’m Tyrion fuckin’ Lannister, yer bartender tonight. I drink and I know things, aye? So, sex escorts—let’s spill it. Been slingin’ booze long enough, seen ‘em all. Fancy lasses, struttin’ in like they own the joint. Reminds me of “Only Lovers Left Alive”—that slow, sexy vibe. “This is far too good,” Adam’d say, watchin’ ‘em glide by. Cool as hell, but pricey, right?

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So, we start our tour, and I’m trying to keep it together. We hit up the famous Hercules’ Baths. Man, the history there is wild! Did you know the Romans used to chill there? Like, they’d soak in those thermal waters and just relax. I mean, who wouldn’t want that? But then, I see this kid, right? He’s about to jump into the water with his shoes on. I’m like, “Dude, what are you doing?!” He just laughs and jumps in anyway. Kids, man. They’re a whole different breed.

Mournful: World-famous former Hungarian spa left to rot – VIDEO