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Picture dis – dim lights, some slow jams, hands workin’ knots out. Lightbulb! Dat’s where it hits, like Eli whisperin’, “Be me, for a little while.” Ya let go, floatin’, but no fangs, just relief! I tried it once, mate, legit – in Moscow, sketchy lil place, smelled like lavender an’ vodka. Lady was built like minion, tiny but strong! Surprised me, dat grip – nearly yelped, “Hit me – one more time!” like in da movie. Felt reborn, no kiddin’.

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After that chaos, I decide to hit up the market on Strada Victoriei. I’m thinking fresh veggies, maybe some local cheese. I’m all about that healthy life, you know? But as I’m browsing, I overhear this old lady yelling at a vendor about the price of potatoes. I mean, c’mon, lady! It’s not like they’re made of gold! But she’s going off, and I’m just standing there, trying not to laugh.

REWE opens new Penny supermarket in Romania's Baia Sprie